Poor old Dave he had a house,
straight behind the hall.
When they had a 'do' on there
in summer or the fall,
the men instead of lining up
waiting for the loo,
would duck behind the hall
when they had a job to do.
The place would stink for days and days.
Dave could not stand the smell.
And so he planned a trap for them,
so legend there will tell.
He strung an electric fence wire up,
about two feet off the ground.
Won't be too long now before,
the offenders will be found.
The local dance was on that night,
and things were going well.
The beer was flowing cool and sweet,
soon the drinks would tell.
Charlie thought it's time to go
outside and have a pee,
and see how many stars
in the sky that he could see.
His pee hit Dave's electric fence
and threw him on his arse,
just as 'Shirl' and Mavis
two Blue Nurses tried to pass.
"Quick," Mavis said. "I'll start mouth to mouth,
as you give help a shout."
Shirley said, "You've blown too hard,
you've blown his dickey out."
Shirley said, "I'll take hold of it,
and put away his pride."
"Although to tell the truth,
he hasn't very much to hide."
Just at that moment the
photographer for the local rag,
took his best shot ever
to put into his mag.
Splashed across the front page,
for all the world to see.
A picture that surely would
fill Charlie's heart with glee.
The caption read two nurses saved
Charlie's life last night.
But why did Mavis blow so hard
or Shirley hold so tight?
Well papers sold like hot cakes,
they were lined up at the store.
Then by ten o'clock that day
they had to order more.
Did not see 'Shirl' or Mavis
around town for a while.
When they did the ones they saw
gave them a knowing smile.
Slowly as the days went by
the talk soon settled down.
Peace and calm returned again
to our country town.
Dave he bought another house
a few miles from the hall
And Charlie said, "Well bugger me,
I slept throughout it all."
This poem is from Terry Slack's book "Blue Gum". Please contact the Bush Curlews if you would like to purchase a copy of one of Terry's books.
